“It’s hard to hate people up close.”
I don’t recall who said this quote, but it’s more relevant now than it’s ever been.
We’ve evolved in a lot of ways as a society. But technology has also allowed us to give in to our weaker instincts as well. Instincts that don’t serve the individual or whole of society.
When discord happens between people it’s become normal to just “ghost” them with zero closure.
I’m not referring to trolls. I’m referring to those associations that you’d consider friendly to those who are actual friends.
When you fight with someone on social media or disagree with their opinion it’s a quick BLOCK and all is right in the world.
Happens in the dating world too. When a fracture occurs, we shut it down.
Slam the door.
Then, the story we create in our heads grows wings and turns into something that’s not even remotely close to what the original offense or disagreement was.
Next thing you know our former friends, turn stale and some even transition into full blown enemies.
All without a single conversation.
I’ll repeat, it’s easy to hate someone from a distance.
When you’ve dehumanized that person and marginalized them down to just an opinion you don’t like, or a behavior you don’t agree with it becomes an extremely short distance to arrive at disdain.
Hating someone up close is a lot more difficult.
When you can see they’re just like you. Or a lot like you just with different ways of seeing the world it takes more ignorance to keep at it.
- When you can see up close their effort to be a good person, even when they get in their own way.
- When you’re hearing their actual voice share their perspective with you, for you to not soften your offense it requires callus to overlook their humanity; ignorance even.
But all of that is made easier if you just don’t talk. Your offense and hatred can swell.
You can retreat to your tribe where they support your lack of empathy.
You get to miss out on an opportunity to grow your influence and intelligence by communicating.
It saves friendships.
It saves marriages.
It saves companies from lawsuit.
It saves politics from being their tribal positions.
The simple act of talking to and allowing communication.
If you find yourself shutting the door to discourse or resolution, it proves two things:
1. You lack the self-love to let someone overcome a foolish offense because you don’t feel you’re worthy of the same.
2. You fully misunderstand how humans work and the way to be truly influential in creating a
So… Keep your distance at your peril.
Close off channels of communication if you must, but do so knowing of how it will play out every time in the same happening to you.