Whenever I see a person that is unknowingly (or knowingly) hurting themselves, I feel sadness for them.
And here is why…
Follow me for a minute.
It’s a humbling moment when someone reaches out to you as a result of the feeling of hope that your message offered them.
From there, the process of getting to know someone and inviting them to participate in your coaching is an intimate one; to say the least.
There is a level of discovery that takes place that creates a true feeling of concern and commitment toward this new, potential client.
Camaraderie is developed; concern for their well-being. Dare I say that you start to love this person as a fellow traveler on this topless rocket ship called Earth.
Their goals become your goals.
Compassion develops that makes you want for them everything they’ve shared as their best life.
You also feel confident that you can be a gift to their life and help them destroy all the barriers to their best, most powerful selves.
The experience of getting to know them is incredible.
You hear the pain in their voice.
You hear the resentment that they’ve built up over the years; toward themselves and those around them.
You experience hope with them as we unleash the possibility of what their best life could look and feel like.
We discuss it all, making a plan that suits them and their desires for transformation.
Then, the rubber hits the road.
I make an invitation. It’s a magnificent moment when this happens.
This invitation requires their faith to accept it and act upon it.
And most importantly; VISION.
If a person doesn’t see the required resource to overcome the barriers to their transformation as an investment, it hints at a deeper level of pain. It’s a tale that they don’t have faith in themselves sufficient for that level of transformation.
It’s at this juncture that you remember with people, sometimes “you don’t know what you don’t know.”
Recently, I had several very pleasant interactions with an individual regarding their transformation.
Connected several times; invited them to make shifts in their life that would reap amazing benefits for them.
Felt their excitement as we discussed how this rebuilt version of themselves would bless the lives of their family and associates.
And how it would make looking in the mirror a blessing again.
The last interaction had with this particular person wrapped up with a 24-hour commitment for a firm decision; IN or OUT.
They were concerned about the investment of their resources. Needed 24 hours to work it out.
I could see the signs. Nobody needs 24 hours to decide.
They need 24 hours to come with an excuse to appease the hurt, resentful part of their ego.
24 hours passed and I followed up.
Understanding that they needed space to reconnect with that part of them that wants to transform; I let it go for a few days and followed up; again with no response.
That was weeks ago.
Then, today I was reviewing my notes of a conversation I’d had with this person. A 30-day target was discussed on a call, and that 30 days was quickly approaching.
So, I reached out to see how it was going with their goal.
What I found was that this person had exited a group I lead AND had unfriended me.
Normally, when I notice that someone has unfriended me I get a laugh out of it. I say enough dumb shit to justify it most of the time.
But this was different.
It was how it happened.
They RAN away.
Went ghost. 👻
A simple nod to me that says “I’m out” or “you’re not the right coach for me” or “you’re an idiot” even would have been fine by me.
It’s not about me at this point.
What it’s about is that only someone in pain runs away from what they say they will do.
When I connected all these dots, I didn’t’ feel rejection the way I thought I might. After MY EGO went through the emotions of anger and empathy; it changed.
I felt sad.
Sad that this person is that lost. So lost that running away and hiding seemed like the best move instead of telling the truth.
I see more than ever the destructive things that we do that LITERALLY HINDERS our ability to have a better life.
We rationalize it, point fingers, RUN.
We suffer in silence while there are options all around us that would make the pain go away.
But we ignore what’s there because it’s too simple. It makes our failure seem trite if the way out is this uncomplicated.
So, we ignore it.
And in the end, we are still stuck in the same place.
I am here to tell you, it doesn’t have to be that way.
An ounce of faith gets quickly rewarded with a pound of results.
Re-read that last sentence. You don’t have to stay HURT.
And if you’re hurting, it’s okay.
You’re not alone, and you CAN have things be different.
You just can’t RUN AWAY and expect it to be different. 🔥