Sharí Alexander is a persuasiveness coach known for bringing the “dark arts” of influence into the light. She has built her career as a speaker, writer, trainer, and coach by revealing powerful secrets behind the conversational influence.
She has personally learned the best persuasive triggers and techniques from master influencers, including CIA field agents, hostage negotiators, con-artists, HUMINT officers, interrogators, trial attorneys, mentalists, undercover law enforcement, and even pick-up artists. Her mission is to put these powerful skills in the hands of entrepreneurs and leaders so that they can effectively be a positive influence in their businesses and lives.
Sharí has designed numerous communication training courses and speeches that cover these enlightening areas of enhanced communication, along with self-study programs.
Sharí is certified in neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), microexpressions, and body language. Her clients include CEOs, politicians, professional athletes (NFL, NBA), television and movie producers, news commentators (ESPN, HLN, NBC), and New York Times Bestselling authors. Sharí is also a regular contributor to Entrepreneur and guest lecturer at USC.
We discuss with Sharí her inspiring story and how her approach to life, business, and communication affects those she works with.
Tidbits from the show:
1. 85% of your financial success is due to your ability to communicate and persuade.
2. Your vision means nothing if you are not about to put a voice to it.
3. There is both an artistry and science of communication. Mastery is the application of both together.
4. There are tells from your youth that point to why you’ve developed your talents.
5. Even experts in their field made the common mistakes that new business creates.
6. Being influential is not what you say. That is a monologue. Influence is a dialogue.
7. Seek out mentors and influencers that have traits you would like to develop.
8. Become a ‘connector’ in your own network to start your influence journey.
9. Refrain from putting your idols on a pedestal. It stifles growth!
10. We all experience the “dark cloud” over us. It’s only temporary.
11. “Because” is a magical word. Listen to the second segment to understand why.
12. You cannot influence someone that you are judging.
Authors / Books / Resources that Shari referenced:
1. Tim Ferris – 4 Hour Workweek.
2. Tim Ferris – Opening the Kimono
3. Joey Coleman
4. Jim Stovall – The Ultimate Git
EXERCISE: Understanding Someone’s VIBES.
In the second segment, Shari goes deeps into describing how to best understand the basics of influential communication. It involves what she references and a person’s VIBES.
V – Values
I – Identifiers
B – Beliefs
E – Emotional triggers
S – Secret Goals
If you can understand and know all of those qualities, you can be extremely effective. To first know them about someone else, you must know them about yourself.
The exercise is to take some time to identify your own VIBES.
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